Deck: Postcards from the Liminal Space
The deep nourishment of the Queen of Cups is the creativity transmission for September, and with this card, we soften even more fully into this theme.
I begin this transmission by inviting you to take a deep breath.
Deep, slow inhale (one, two, three, four)
Slow, full exhale (one, two three, four)
When I was a kid, one of my favorite series was The Chronicles of Narnia. There was a lot I loved about it, but I was particularly enthralled by the notion that four children slipped out the back of a wardrobe, entered another land, lived rich full lives as Kings and Queens…then decades later, stumbled upon the old lampost, (“How quaint!”), found the wardrobe, slipped back through and…
Not a single moment had passed.
They were children again.
I have always been incredibly fascinated by the idea of time. What is it?
Back to the Future, Somewhere in Time, Kate and Leopold—these and many other time travel stories were my favorites. I was enchanted by the idea of visiting other worlds and became obsessed with the circular rules of time travel, the paradoxes…all of it.
As I learn more about quantum physics I learn that time itself in the actual world—not science fiction—is not fixed; a year on Mars is not the same as a year on Earth; a minute at 2,000 feet above sea level is not the same as a minute at sea level…and on and.
Time has always been fascinating, strange, and alien to me: a concept I simultaneously cannot fully grasp and yet which I often find myself bound up in/strangled by (chronically late, missing appointments, etc.)
My ADHD diagnosis has also helped me understand that my relationship to time is different from those with a non-ADHD brain; I cannot feel time moving, for me there is now and there is not-now.
I’ve always been completely baffled by people who seem to “manage their time” effortlessly; for me, trying to use my time “efficiently” often feels like trying to grasp very fine sand—it just slips through my fingers. This is very disorienting in a world that operates in linear time—which my brain simply cannot and will not ever understand.
I think part of why I’ve tried so hard to understand time—what it is, how we move through it, and how to harness it—is largely due to the fact that I can’t relate to it in a linear way.
For most of my life, I have struggled to do so. I have shamed and guilted myself for not being able to “figure it out”; I have read countless productivity books and tried many different time management strategies. Nothing ever sticks and I find myself anxious, distracted, and indecisive. Because I can’t figure out how to “make the most” of my time in a linear way, I often find myself feeling “behind”, and therefore, rushing carelessly through tasks and recklessly tackling my obligations and to-do lists.
It’s, quite honestly, an exhausting way to live and it only creates further stress, anxiety, urgency, and panic—so it creates this endless cycle of distraction, getting “behind”, rushing to get things down, getting distracted…and on and on.
It feels like there is just never enough time.
I’ve mentioned recently how deeply I was affected by Boyd Varty’s incredible book The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life (this is an affiliate link because this book has my full endorsement)
There is a part where one of Boyd’s mentors, Renias—a phenomenal Indigenous tracker—responds to an incredibly dangerous situation with a furious wild leopard. The leopard is standing over a much greener tracker, Alex, absolutely seething at the provocation and quivering with rage. But Renias diffuses the situation by slowing everything down. He talks slowly, stands still, and uses the low, even cadence of his voice to soothe both Alex and the leopard.
After relaying the story, Boyd wrote the following sentence:
“In a situation in which things were happening incredibly fast, by being slow, Renias was able to create time.” —Boyd Varty
These words stopped me in my tracks—and they’ve been vibrating within me ever since.
Slow down to create time.
Slow down to create time.
Slow down to create time.
(Three times is a spell)
Deep breath.
Frantic energy actually doesn’t help us get anything done. (and do we really want “getting things done” to always be the primary aim of our lives? A question for another day…)
What if not being able to feel time moving is a gift?
What if allowing ourselves to exist in timelessness is a vital part of the creative process?
What if we need to daydream, to live entire other lives in the span of a five-minute space out?
gif by @kimmy-tasset on PicsArt
What if, when we feel our hearts racing, when we feel like there is ~too much to do~, when we feel like there is ~never enough time~, we make the paradoxical move and slow the fuck down?
What if, in slowness, we find the clarity we seek? What if, by stepping outside of the frenetic, go-go-go, constant-forward-motion energy of linear time, we expand time?
What if?
Perhaps the only way to find out is to give it a try.
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In future audio transmissions, I will also answer subscriber questions on creativity, magic, tarot, and more! Submit your questions at the link below.
Until next time.
Stay weird,
Lisa
I love this and am chuckling at all my alarms on my phone because Time always sneaks up on me